Saturday, August 29, 2009

I want to trust in you Lord

I am back! and yes we all survived our first week of school! Did I ever doubt that we would?
No, I always knew we would survive because my hope and trust is in our wonderful saviour, Jesus Christ.
Was it tough? yes it was much tougher than I thought it would be.. I thought the first day would be the hardest, but Monday was by far the easiest day, because everyone was excited and happy. It was by thursday and Friday when Kristina and Staci were tired and their eyes were not quite as sparkly anymore, It was when school work turned out to be a bit more of a challenge than Kristina had anticipated.. It was when there were frustrations on the playground among peers... it was Then that I wanted to shed tears and hold them close saying "it's ok, You don't have to go back, you can stay here with me where no one can hurt you." But I didn't say that for a couple of reasons.
1. I was sure they would say "but we WANT to go back"
2. I knew that somewhere in life they are going to have to learn these lessons anyway,
So I prayed desperately for the right words to help them along the little rocky road that God was leading them down. They didn't shed a tear all week about school! what a blessing! Each morning my prayer was "God don't let them wake up and Say 'I don't want to go'. because i didn't know if I would've had the courage to make them go. the worst morning of all for me was on Wednesday when Mitchell saw them in their uniforms and said "NO Staci! NO school!" I felt exactly the same way!!
The house was so quiet all week that I couldn't stand being in it, especially when Mitchell was napping! I never knew my refridgerater was so noisy or stopped and started so often!! I can't remember that last time I was even concsious that the fridge has a noise! There were no bikes and toys to put away from the garage door before I went away. The American girl dolls sat neglected at their table having tea for hours on end!! These are a few of the things that made the tears flow for me this week..

So the silver lining??? I think it must be healthy to cry alot, I feel so tender to everyone and especially to the Holy Spirit.. I have had time EVERYDAY for devotions and prayer.. not just a few minutes here and there but over an hour each day! My time with the girls is super special to me! I remember to tell them how much I love and appreciate them everyday! because By 5:00 I am still not tired of being with them! The Lord has been so FAithful and Blessed me with so much I am eternally thankful for his saving grace, for his mercy on a poor soul that takes soo long to trust and obey. I am thankful that his children that he has entrusted to me have sweet and loving natures and a heart for God! I am SO THANKFUL for the teachers at the Academy, they never raise an eyebrow when I arrive 30 min before dissmisal . or when I bring the girls their lunch and stay for recess!

So am I excited for Monday morn. Yes I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for me this week and also the loving little lessons he has for my daughters this week.. Will it be easier than Last week? I don't know but:
I want to trust in you Lord, with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, In all my ways i will acknowledge you, And you will make my paths straight. Prov.3: 5-6

1 comment:

  1. Dear Ruth Ann,

    Your love for your children is so evident and don't you know thats how God feels for us! But, isn't such a beautiful thing to learn that love is brave? That it does not shelter or weaken? But, bravely He puts us on this path of life knowing that He is with us every step. I love you! Know that God has such a plan for those little ones and this is just the beginning! ;)